How to Heal the Loneliness Wound: A Different Approach

For so many years, I have been suffering from being lonely and experiencing loneliness. I never had the safe connections I was craving in my life, neither a friend circle nor like-minded people. I had just one person who was like a safe oasis for myself, but the loneliness wound took the chance to keep this amazing relationship because there was something still lingering and screaming deep inside of me - the loneliness wound.

It is true that loneliness is a lack of connection. But what we often miss in the whole picture is that loneliness is a lack of connection within ourselves. And there is always a wound that is present. I have been working for the last seven years on this loneliness wound. And the truth is that it gets easier, for sure, but I was still missing the main ingredient - loneliness will continue to persist in your life until you stop isolating the truest and deepest part of yourself - your authentic self.

You can always work on the wound. You can always do the shadow work, integrate the emotions, self-soothe, and self-partner when you have difficult emotions to process. Yes, this is so, so, so crucial. But there will be no end to this situation until the day you decide to let that true self of yours be shown to the world. To be present. To be seen. To be known by other people.

Let me explain to you why, in a more detailed way. Let’s say that there is a wounded part of you that fears isolation and being alone. And yes, it is completely true and valid, and it is there. But let’s say that this is not your deep core. This is not the part of you that connects on a deeper level, has the most incredible desires, and wants to experience your dreams. This is just a traumatized part of you that runs your own life. But what will happen if you start showing up as your deepest self - the one that is your deep core, the one that resonates with your most authentic and deepest desires? You immediately start attracting through that part of you. You immediately start becoming the highest potential of yourself and attract the highest and deepest connections to yourself - the ones that match the real you and do not abandon you, because you do not abandon yourself - your true self. You are it. Becoming it. Living it. Experiencing it. And this is true healing. This is true healing for the part of you that has suffered intense amounts of trauma. By being surrounded by deep connections, this part starts to experience the opposite of isolation - it starts to experience true healing, connection, and love - the highest version of love. Every time I decide to dedicate myself to the part of me that is now present, activated, and needs me, I am immediately surrounded by worthy people. I get a call, someone texts me, someone wants to go out with me. It does not matter whether I integrate and feel the loneliness wound or another painful emotion, or I decide it’s time to follow my truest core and show up for my desires - for who I truly am. I am in a vibration of not isolating and abandoning my present self, but meeting myself. And when I meet my authentic self, others start meeting me too. This is what this life is about - connection with ourselves first, and then connection with others.

I am not saying that trauma work is not worthy. For sure, I am 100% for doing the trauma work around your loneliness wounds. It is so crucial and is half of the process. What I am saying is that until you become strong enough to start showing up as your true self, you will not experience connection with others because you are not experiencing it with yourself.

And here is the question you may have been asking yourself all the time you have been reading this article: Who is my truest, deepest, and most authentic self? To answer this question, I will give you a hint - this personality of yours is not connected to being married, being a mom, or any other dream that includes others. It is connected just to you and yourself because it is the most profound connection - the one with yourself. And here is the other hint - my deepest and most authentic core is to be a writer who shares authentic wisdom, self-empowerment, and spiritual health with the world. And I am on my way to embracing it. What is yours?

If you want to know more about the process of becoming your true self and how to remove the resistance and blockages in front of it, follow my page and wait for my upcoming eBook and eCourse about how to tap into your true life and make your desires come true.

Lots of Love,

Belong to yourself first,

Neda